What's Kept Inside of My Heart
by PrimaVeraDream
Summary: Ron's in love with Hermione, but Hermione is already with Draco. One day, Ron saw someone he hasn't saw since the Final Battle. What will happen in the end? Told in Ron's POV through his journal. Ron/?


**(a/n) Hello! Just making sure to say Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the wonderful author, J.K. Rowling only.**

**P.S. **_italics = Hermione; **bold/italics**** = Pansy; **italics = Draco_

If the entry is in bold and italics it's mostly about Pansy. If it's just italics then it's Hermione and Draco.

**P.P.S. This is the journal of Ron. Dramione. Implied future Ron/Pansy.**

**P.P.P.S. Please excuse my grammar and review! If you have any questions, PM me!**

**P.P.P.P.S. I didn't put any names in so you can picture any couple.**

* * *

_14 January 1999_

_As expected, every time I saw her I was looking at an angel. She's radiant. The coldness made her cheeks blushed red. Her chapped lips was cause by the cold, dry wind. The wind was strong today. It blew at her frizzy hair and revealed the nape of her neck. She had forgotten her scarf again today. I saw her shiver. I want to hold her against my body and wrap my arms around her to protect her from the cold. Just as I was about to take one step towards her he'd appeared. I watched as he gave her his scarf and kissed her forehead. Jealousy filled my heart. I was the one that was going to give her happiness. Why had she picked him? Out of all people, him! I am better than him. Him and his selfish ways. He's arrogant and snobby. I could bring her much more happiness. He's rich, but once my shop is successful and making money I'll win her back for sure.  
_

* * *

**_1 February 1999_**

**_I saw someone totally unexpected today. She had changed a lot since the Final Battle. She got thinner and her face looked cadaverous. It was like she hadn't eaten for days! I wondered what happened to her parents. When I had offered her food she said she didn't have any money! Her ragged clothes were falling apart. Her body reeks of garbage. I think she hadn't had anywhere to sleep and bathe either. After she left, I just kept looking in the direction she ran off to. A narrow-looking alley._**

* * *

_14 February 1999_

_I bought some chocolate today, intend on giving it to her. But she was not in today. I later found out that she had gone to Paris with him for a romantic dinner from a co-worker of hers. I was so mad that I closed up the shop and kicked everything around. In the middle of my rage, I thought I saw** her** standing right outside the shop window. But I could just be imagining things. There is no way **she** could be out there in this huge, upcoming storm._

* * *

**_15 February 1999_**

**_This morning, when I woke up, the streets were in ruins. The water flooded all over the streets. The trash scattered all over the place. The gusty wind broke some of the glass windows and toppled over the streetlights. All of this were the result of last night's storm. But with a quick swish of a wand everything was return to its original position and we can start up the businesses again. I can't help but wonder where is she. She could be anywhere. In her mansion, which is unlikely. In a hovel, which is possible. Or in that narrow-looking alley, where the chance to find her is topping the scale. I quickly ran to the alley. Just as I'd suspected. There she was, wrapped in a skimpy little cloth which she calls her blanket. It was nothing like a blanket. It was just a few handkerchiefs sewn together. I offered her a place to stay which is a flat above my shop. At first, she had seem hesitant. I can see the conflict in her eyes. Finally she had agree to come with me. I didn't bother telling her that we had to share a flat. Eventually, she found out and thrown a fit. But she accepted it a lot quicker than I thought. Now she is sleeping quietly in the room next door. It's nice to have a flatmate once in a while._**

* * *

_1 March 1999_

_It's my birthday today. We had a small celebration. She gave me Hogwarts: A History. So typical of her. Her boyfriend gave me a ferret to remember him by. Everyone present roared in laughter. Even the gift-giver himself was laughing to the inside joke. My best friend gave me some pictures of his younger self. When I asked him why, he said it was to help me to become as handsome as him. Such a big ego. My brothers gave me chocolate, but this coming from them is never good. The biggest surprise was that **she** also got me a gift. It was a book on quidditch techniques. I appreciated it very much._

* * *

**_25 March 1999_**

**_Mum called for a special family brunch this Sunday. I wondered what Mum will announce. She had started working at the shop as of today. Despite coming from a pureblood family with house elves coming at a wave of a hand, she's pretty hard-working. Clumsy was the word I first thought of when she started working, but it's just the opposite. I'm thinking of bringing her to the family brunch to award her for the hard work._**

* * *

_28 March 1999_

_They were also at the brunch. Though I'm not surprised to see them there since Mum also treats her as her daughter and him as her son. Surprised was the first feeling I felt when they had announced that they're engaged. I mean, they had only dated for like what, ten months? Everyone congratulated them. I really wanted to punch that grin out of his face. But I guess** she** is as shock as me. They did dated for a bit during Hogwarts. Mum and the others accepted **her** quite fast. When I brought **her**, everyone just welcomed **her** like family, like **she** never had a bad past with us. But I guess it's hard to despise **her** after** she** shown up looking like a corpse._

* * *

_10 April 1999_

_He asked me to be one of his groomsmen. As if I wanted to, but I've got no choice. She was there watching me with a look of hope on her face. The wedding is in four months. That's too fast. She doesn't even know him well enough. What if he abuses her after their marriage? What if he forced her into marrying him? The possibilities are endless. On the same day, she asked **her** to be one of her bridesmaid. **She** just sat there and nodded to everything she had said. I don't think** her** mind was in it. **She** was daydreaming. I really pity** her**. The man **she** loved was marrying and the bride invited** her** to be a bridesmaid. But I pity myself more. **Her** love was just a phase. But mine was genuine. I still love her. Even now. Why does all the bad things happen only to me?_

* * *

_12 April 1999_

_I tried talking some sense into her. But she just lashed out at me asking what rights do I have of who shall she marry? Of course I have the rights! I love her and I always will. The slap she imprinted on my face still hurts like hell. Then she walked out on me. I've felt guilty ever since. **She** has acted strange lately. **Her** eyes kept following me around. There was concern in **her** eyes. But** she** couldn't be concern about me, can **she**? Ever since the brunch **she's** been healthier. **Her** weight started getting normal and **her** appetite seems to be getting better. Now** she** has this glow to her face. I can't even define** her** now._

* * *

_16 April 1999_

_I finally got her to start talking to me again. Seems like her fiancé talked to her. I'll have to thanks him for that. But I still won't forgive him for stealing her from me right under my nose. I was the one who love her first._

* * *

_20 April 1999_

_They had started planning the wedding. He got the guests list. She got the reservations. His best mate, as the best man, has the rings ready. Her best friend, as the maid of honor, has the catering people ready. Almost everything is set to go. She and the girls went to pick out the dresses. He and the guys, including me, went to pick out the suits. As each day pass, the date of the wedding is getting closer._

* * *

**_25 April 1999_**

**_She seems to be a lot happier these days. Like the past few days she went out shopping again. I see her everyday with a new dress on. These days she had come back after midnight. Has she finally found that special someone? It feels like I'm gonna lose my flatmate soon._**

* * *

**_1 May 1999_**

**_It's great weather today! _**_She_**_ offered everyone out for a picnic in the park. She bought a friend of hers. Every time she laughs, my ears perks up. I had listen in to their conversations. None was about me. They were sitting very close together. I can't help but think "don't get too close to her, you bastard!" In the past three months, I have become a friend of hers. I can't help but feel protective over her. _**_She_**_ had_**_ her_**_ head on _**_his_**_ shoulder. I can feel that jealousy in the back of my heart._**

* * *

**_12 May 1999_**

**_I waited for her last night. It was well over midnight. Hence now it's the next day. I saw her male friend again. This time through the peephole of the door. I didn't get to question her because she quickly went into her room._**

* * *

**_15 May 1999_**

**_She's a bit clumsy today. Usually she was fast and serious during work. I wondered what caused her to become like this? Just this morning, I saw her put the product in the wrong shelf. I had to restock it myself because I didn't bother telling her that one little mistake._**

* * *

**_21 May 1999_**

**_She confided in me about her male friend confessing to her. She said she doesn't know what to do whether to say yes or not. I told her to do what her heart tells her to do. I think I'm feeling a bit jealous similar to what I'm feeling for _**_her_**_. But it's different from_**_ hers_**_. What's this feeling?_**

* * *

**_28 May 1999_**

**_She told me that she turned him down, but remained as friends. I felt relieved from the knowledge. She's still my flatmate. She's not gonna move in with him. I felt quite giddy for the rest of the afternoon. My best friend had asked what was wrong with me? I said to him, I don't know. Which is true because even I don't know why I'm feeling so much felicity._**

* * *

_11 June 1999_

_There's only two months left until their wedding. I'm feeling quite sad. But not the kind I thought I would feel. It is between the feeling of losing a best friend and giving a daughter away. I told her of everything that I felt about her. But she rejected me. I did not feel dejected whatsoever. In fact, I thanked her for rejecting my advances because if she didn't, I wouldn't realize my true feelings._

* * *

**_31 July 1999_**

**_It's closer and closer to the big day. I'm getting excited as the days go. She told me that she want to have a few days before the big day off to prepare herself. I think it's a great idea. My suit is at the tailor to arrange it to my size._**

* * *

**13 August 1999**

**It was the wedding today. As**_ she_** walked down the altar, I could see how happy **_she_** is with**_ her future husband_** at the other end. I truly felt happy for**_ her_**. _She_ was beautiful today. I remember the first time I saw _her_ way back in February _she_ was scrawny. _She_ is much healthier now. It was when **_she_ **rejected me that I realized one thing. I had fallen in love with_ her_. I had confessed to _her_ today at the wedding, but _she_ as of yet had given me a full answer to my confession._ She_ ran out blushing, but I will wait until _she_ is ready. Did I mention that **_she_** gave me this journal? **_She_** told me to use it to write out all of my feelings. But I always said that men don't write out their feelings. Guess I was wrong. This will be the last entry I will write on this journal because my feelings for **_her_** is officially declared as over. I will be writing on a new page and a new journal. And that one will focus only on _her_.**


End file.
